In a day and age where hookups have more-or-less become “on demand” through our recommended best dating sites, finding a solid first date can be difficult, and the second date almost near impossible. Finding those with similar interests is actually easy; finding someone worthwhile can be less so.
Unfortunately, narrowing who not to go out with is increasingly becoming whoever doesn’t start the online conversation with a picture of their private parts, or pickup lines that are less funny and more harassing. But if you’re lucky enough to find someone you feel is a good fit, that’s only half the battle.
Define What You Want
People think they know what they want in a date; however, more often than not, they wind up settling for something completely different. Those only looking for a one-time night of fun somehow get talked into going out on a date that doesn’t even end with a goodnight kiss.
It all comes back to communication. Be honest; if you’re only looking for a hookup, there’s plenty of fish out there looking for the same. If you’re looking to find “the one”, let them know. Otherwise, one of you, or both, will be wasting each other’s time. Draw a firm line in the sand as to what you’re looking for to avoid giving them the wrong impression.
Ask anyone what they hate about dating, and they will almost always answer with, “the first date”. It’s because of the awkward silence, the small talk, and having to be on your best behavior. The problem is, we put so much pressure on ourselves and the date itself. That after a while, we start treating dates as job interviews.
If you aren’t having fun, then it’s just not a good time. It doesn’t matter how gorgeous they are; if it’s too serious while sharing a meal together, it probably isn’t going to get much better. An ideal date is when two people connect and feel a sense of chemistry. It is hard to put it in definite terms but obvious when it is lacking.
They need to be able to make you laugh, and vice-versa, even if just for a few times. And you definitely shouldn’t even want to check the time around them. If you’re looking at your watch, that means you can wait for the night to end.
Decisions time. Do you want to invest more time getting to know this person? Even though they may be a stranger, you have to want to know them better by the end of the first date or all bets are off. If you aren’t interested in them as a person, a second date isn’t going to lead anywhere. It’s important to go beyond the usual “small talk” topics, too. Explore their interests, lives, hopes and dreams.
…And if they want the same things as you, made you laugh most of the night, and you’re aching to know more about them, then it’s time for round two.
The second date should be just like the first one, but it needs to be memorable enough to warrant another one. Consider a unique local adventure such as, going to a painting and wine class, taking a chocolate tour, or other fun experiences for new couples.
Dating doesn’t have to be complicated however, it does have certain facets. Initial attraction, chemistry and just enough mystery to make one crave a second helping is necessary for the next date. Of course a bit of digging and attempting to get to know them better is a key factor in any budding relationship. By finding a fun local activity to do, you can take some of the pressure off and make it more fun, friendly, and flirty.
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