Guys, you are so lucky you have the luxury to not care about the intention behind a “compliment” the way a woman must. A woman cares because what she is receiving in her body (our nervous system that is there to serve survival and pleasure) is not just the compliment, but also the intention we absorb. We absorb it all, we are highly intuitive… and we do it all on automatic pilot.
Intuition/felt sense is an amazing gift that is dialed up to full volume in female humans. It is our human female design for good reason, and is undeniable. It is an amazing enhanced capacity to gather important (and often so important) data that will help her stay alive, and when she offers it to a man and that man values it and knows what to do with it, she is not only open to him but will stay loyal to him. When this happens, her hyper sensitivity to the environment and to people enhances her man’s and their tribe’s very survival. When this intense data collection super power is directed into good use, it is potent. When it is closed off by the insensitive or nonexistent awareness of a man, it breeds fear, frustration and even feelings of contempt about that man. Your compliment is filtered through all of this primal operation, which will assess this flirtation, and her danger warning system is always running behind the scenes.
We need help to get the security shields back down once they are up so it’s better not to get her shields up or close her in the first place. The goal of a true compliment is to open her, right? Yet men, more often than not, inadvertently and with every good intention, close her off to him more often than he is able to open her to him.
Oh you unskillful men, you know not what you do to us to gain your small fix of false power. You injure us. You close us on every level. Is this your desire? Truly? Then level up and learn to open us instead.
Women will help you along the way. There is nothing we want more than for men to learn to open us instead of us being left to do so for ourselves and not have any credit then to offer men on this front. We would love nothing more than have help with our emotional stability and to open more with a man than we can on our own. We WANT to open to you, but we can’t until it is safe to do so. Safe on every level.
This means your compliment has to come from a place of concern for our safety and well being, not from a hidden agenda within you to get something from us that is covered up with a series of flowery, shallow words strung together in a way that pressures us to agree and say thank you, even when that is the last thing we feel about it. You force us to lie to you or face your scorn, anger and hurt. How will this way ever create a more open exchange than a closed and unattractive impression?
The shut down wife is this woman you say you love but whose body is now so closed to you. Closed up from year after year of this hidden agenda coming at her because you never grew beyond this adolescent way of “complimenting” her. She becomes less and less motivated to serve you and your tribe.
The hot girl you see and lust after on the street who, when she rejects you, suddenly is a “too good bitch with snotty attitude”, is not your sister in the world, but a target that you take shots at and shut down. You block the world from her nurturing potential when you choose to show up this way. But this is the good news for you good men reading this…This means you have the power to shift this dynamic. If you had the power to close her in the first place, you have the power to open her as well or at least the next woman you meet, now that you know.
It’s all the same thing. Men, you either use your massive power to open us or to close us… there is no in-between. A woman will either open up or carve out for herself away from those of you that fail to adopt the ways of a skilful, valiant man.
We women feel it ALL, and a lot of the time it feels like we are hung out to dry without insulation from men in general, only allowed to expect it from the man we serve sexually. Sadly, even he says “stop making a fuss, boys will be boys, learn to take a compliment, let my boss get away with his lecherous energy and acts, entertain my boyz with your tolerance of their nonsense, be a good woman and shut up and put up” in oh so many subtle and less subtle ways which are really just the same thing.
We wouldn’t be speaking this if it were not TRUE for us! If we didn’t want you to hear us and protect us in ways you may not have even considered so we can feel safe, so we can do our very best for you and the world. Why won’t you listen???
What we crave and what the world is in need of is more free men, next level men, superior men. The next stage man is being built in our culture now, and he will provide for the tribe of the world. He will provide in a more grand and global way than ever before, not just for his own biological offspring and HIS woman due to some sort or ownership, obligation, “sexual payment arrangement” driven motivation, but from listening to women, hearing the value and acting upon it in meaningful ways, motivated from his OWN core sensibilities.
Valiant men engage the word in such a way as to always uplift and protect.
We are getting ready. More and more women are now working their issues around trusting men after so much history of abuse (and make no mistake, women have reacted to that and lashed out at men as well). We had to rise up against that old way in a fierce and aggressive manner at times. Ways that were uncomfortable for us, that were outside our design, desire and character. It HAD to be done then… we had to, but now, NOW we want the balance. We are ready to work with men to create the balance.
We want to be able to serve men with ALL we have, but we can’t until it is safe to do so. We are always “asking” every man we come in contact in all our non verbal ways and in our tentative, indirect verbal tests of him… “Will you be making it safer or more difficult for me right now?”
No more wimping out nice guys… they make us feel unsafe and burdened.
No more dominating douchebags… they turn on our bodies but nothing more.
We desire to be in alignment with valiant, quality well balanced men that have no problem providing stability to women, insulating women from the harsh world when needed and stepping up in to loving, wise leadership, or learning how with ALL he has. What we desire is more peace.
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