Before we start with the how to do sacred spot work for men, let me first tell you about my experience with sacred spot work (this will help give you more context).

On a sacred sexuality workshop in Guatemala, there was an opportunity for the men in the group to explore their sacred spot.

After three days of deep work on our emotional and energetic selves, we settled into the sacred spot part of the work. We were partnered up with a member of the opposite sex. I was partnered with an angel who held the space perfectly.

First, we started with a full body massage, loosening up the body so that we were completely relaxed. We started with the back before moving onto the buttock and pelvic areas.

In my mind, there was part of me that thought that I would need to be really turned on in order to let someone inside my anal temple. At that point, it seemed not to be the case. At no point were my crown jewels touched or was I aroused. I was just supremely relaxed, and that’s all I need to be.

I shut my eyes and breathed deeply from my gut. She was careful as she entered me.

As soon as she was a couple of centimeters inside me I said, “My heart, my heart!” My heart was melting into intense warmth, it was as if there was a warm fire around my heart; as if she was touching my heart and coating it with the intense heat of love.

With my eyes shut I was taken to another space, it was almost as if I’d entered a woman’s body; and I was feeling what it was like to be penetrated for the first time.

After my heart had stopped heating like a rock thrown into a fire, my hands started buzzing with powerful energy. It was as if I was holding a magnetic fireball, I literally couldn’t bring my hands together as the force was too intense. I played with the fireball over my body, and caressed my body with my fired up hands.

Whilst playing with this energy, a new force came rushing through my body.

It was my inner wolf energy.

It may sound strange, but this energy has come to me before during a breathing meditation, and also during sex.

This energy causes me to make noises like a wolf and I am rushed with the energy of this beastly animal. After the wolf energy passed through me, I could see a white light and a face smiled through the white light at me.

how to do sacred spot


Soon after this the finger retreated out from me, I was mesmerized. How could there be such an experience with just a finger in my ass? By all means, there was a little more to it than that. Let me explain…

First of all, the space that was set at the workshop was extremely important.

We had comfortable cushions to lie on, and gentle music was playing.

Second, we were mentally prepared for a transformative experience. The guys running the workshop put us in a place of receiving and surrender, and our bodies were ready to be entered after an hour of soothing body massage.

Lastly, our (female) partners were mentored into holding space for the men to surrender into a feminine energy. There were many times during the experience when I forgot I was a man.

This all led me to a spiritual, earth shattering experience that I will never forget. My body was speaking to the source energy of the universe and connecting through me with the energy via my hands, my inner wolf and the warmth of my heart.

How To Do Sacred Spot Work For Men

Many men are often afraid of being touched in the anal area. They think that it is a sign of homosexual tendencies. This is so far from the truth – and even if it was the truth, why judge yourself so much?

The sacred spot is also known as the prostate gland and has a quite unique mystique if compared to the other parts of the male body. Ancient Indian tantric texts refer to this gland as the ‘sacred spot’, the center of a man’s emotions and sexuality, containing deep feelings of acceptance.

There are many benefits to sacred spot work. These include: Enhanced spiritual experiences (as above), opening up the feminine pole to be more receptive and in a state of surrender, heightening and intensifying orgasmic experiences, and it also helps with premature ejaculation.

Sacred spot for men supports men to become multi orgasmic (which requires them being attuned to their inner feminine). It also supports prostate health and a deeper awareness of the receptive and vulnerable aspect of the divine feminine.

Sacred spot work often forever changes the way men make love to women, because it gives them first hand experience of being penetrated.

The sacred spot in men is considered directly linked to the prostate gland, which feels a bit like a walnut – however, size and shape differs for each man but it’s located often 2 to 3 inches inside. Men can lie on their back or may prefer all fours, but eye contact can be very supportive for a connective experience.

Discussion around fears before the start can be a beautiful part of communication for a couple. Cleanliness (shower before any ritual whether giving or receiving) is often a top fear for men, and the taboo around the anus in general is worth discussing first to bring it into consciousness. Gloves are recommended (turn them inside out immediately afterwards).

A key part of the ritual is the moment of entry into the ‘temple’, where direct communication is a must. The giver must let the receiver know that they are always at power and choice over the experience and that no one enters the temple without full permission and consent.

Before entering or applying pressure on the anus, verbal consent is given as well as much massage of the buttocks, hips, pelvis and ideally the entire body. Because there are two rings, there is no forcing.

This is a place where the para/sympathetic nervous systems meet, so only through relaxation can the rings open for pleasurable entry. No matter how ready our mind may tell us we are, if our body is at ‘NO’, this place will not open.

Let go of any goals and just be with what is. This is not about forcing, but applying gentle pressure and letting the body invite us inside.

Encouraging the giver to make sound and move however they desire is key to support the energy to really flow and to have a powerful experience. If strong emotions arise, it may be appropriate to stop the ritual and have the receiver scream or hit pillows to support releasing of the energy. Ecstatic bliss states are possible, feelings of energy moving and awakening neurological pathways are very common – a sensation of having ‘giant hands’.

Enter energetically with intention once verbal permission is given, and enter S-L-O-W-L-Y. Similarly, when exiting, asking if the receiver feels complete and is ready for you to exit… then leave very, very SLOWLY (fast departure can trigger emotional feelings of abandonment!) and even when physically ‘out’, remain in energetically – departure usually takes 3 minutes or so.

Love and communication is the key. Also, it’s really important is that you keep this separate from sex. Remember to make time and space to do this for each other.

We wish you the best in this new opening together.

Please note, sacred spot work is NOT ANAL SEX. If you want to do anal sex with your partner, check out this anal sex how to guide.

Have you tried sacred spot? How was it? Leave your comments below!

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