How To Give A Blowjob

After our how to eat pussy article, we thought we better do one to benefit the guys. In this interview with Ella, we speak about how she learned her expertise on how to give a blowjob that blows his mind.

Ella, tell us about your relationship and how porn helped you gain “sexpertise” in certain areas?

In the last two years I’ve had great success with using pornography as a learning tool to facilitate bedroom activities, especially skills in how to give a blowjob.

In relationships, having the freedom to explore each other and cater to each other’s desires is very important to me.

When I wanted to become more proficient at blow jobs, for example, I started searching for scenes in Internet porn and asked for recommendations from friends and my partner.

I’ll never forget watching the classic Jenna Jameson moment that gave me the epiphany, “Ohhhhhh, THAT’s how I should use my tonguuueee!”

And how was Jenna using her tongue?

I previously had experimented with using the tip of my tongue on and around the head and frenulum.

She took that concept and expanded it to use her tongue as a tease up and down the entire shaft, making small circles and little licks with the tip of her tongue rather than laying it flat against the side of the shaft and licking it “like a lollipop,” so to speak.

It actually was not unlike how the tongue is used in an explorative way during cunnilingus, as a tool where a lot of energy and feeling is concentrated into the tip.

That’s right, just the tip.

So, How To Give A Blowjob? What Are Your Secrets?

Practice! Haha! How to give a blowjob… I would also rank communication and affection pretty highly.

Talking about blowjobs with a partner is not only sexy, but it emphasizes the things they enjoy the most (“Baby, what was your favorite part last night when I was sucking your cock?”) and can introduce new concepts or territory to explore (“How did it feel when I put my fingers behind your balls?”)

When I say affection, this could mean a few different things…

If you meet a guy, and you’re super attracted, and he has a beautiful penis that is begging to be sucked, that is one thing, but understand that oral sex of any variety can pose safety concerns, and it’s up to you to take proper precautions to stay healthy.

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For some, that’s using a barrier. For me, that’s waiting to establish STD status with my partner before assuming risks. Also, as a monogamist I speak from the perspective of someone who has the advantage of recurring conversations with my partner and a strong desire to meet their preferences.

If I try something new, and the experiment fails, we get to try again and I can do it a little differently next time. This “redo” option doesn’t always present itself during casual encounters.

It’s time to give him what he wants… © tverdohlib Adobe Stock

What are the 5 must-try tricks for our readers to either ask for or attempt tonight?

1.     Eye contact

If you focus entirely on the member you are missing out on any nonverbal cues your partner might be making, such as small sighs of pleasure, a lip bite, smile or maybe a grimace if you have accidentally used too much pressure or strayed to a sensitive spot.

Try locking eyes with your lover and giving a smile or nod while you are pleasuring them. If you’re on the receiving end of a blowjob, try gently brushing your lady’s hair away from her forehead and face, or using one finger to trace the side of her cheek or gently playing with her hair in the early stages of oral to build intimacy and affirm that you are enjoying what’s happening.

2.     Tongue Play

Instead of immediately building a seal with your lips and trying to suck his dick through a hosepipe, try using your tongue as an initial tease to draw circles around the head of his penis.

Make little licks up and down one side of the shaft, before switching to long, slow laps with the flat of your tongue up one side and down the other. Hold the base of the shaft with your hand to manoeuvre the penis steadily while you are teasing with your tongue.

sexy blow job

Touch him… © tverdohlib Adobe Stock

3.     Dirty Talk

I like to get permission before I start with a blowjob, so I usually head that way with my hands while talking about how much I want to kiss him *everywhere*.

You can say as much or as little as you like, just recognize there’s sometimes a fine line with talking dirty because too much can seem forced or over the top, while absolute silence can be a mood killer.

While your mouth is occupied, soft sounds or moans of pleasure and experimenting with humming can give an audible boost to the blowjob as well as making a vibrational sensation that some guys find quite
nice.

If you are switching intermittently between your mouth and hands, looking up at him and asking pointed questions about what you are doing, how much he likes it, how you can tell because of his face or his sounds, is an easy way to stay focused on technique that keeps the sexy momentum going.

If he is checking me out while I am getting it on, I usually wink or smile at him for fun. It is a delight to hear him laugh or see him smile back. When I am taking a breath or switching to hand play, I will ask, “Do you like this? How does that feel?” to gather more audible cues.

4.     Use Both Hands

I like to start slowly and introduce layers of sensation as I build up a rhythm. For example, I might start with using only my mouth and then place one hand at the base of the shaft, or for something different, wrap a wet palm (either by licking it, spitting in it, or applying lube) around the head of his penis and lick the base.

My second hand is always moving or exploring somewhere else on his body, like tracing circles around his stomach with my fingernails, or tickling and scratching around and underneath his balls. For an appealing visual, I will wrap both hands around his shaft and “pop” the head audibly by making a sucking noise when bringing it in and out of my mouth or lick it, look at him and smile.

5.     Ball Handling

More about this later but don’t neglect the balls! They are very sensitive, and many women are afraid to touch them out of a reinforced trope about men getting kneed in the groin or getting their balls crushed in movies and television. Just remember, you’re inclined to make him feel good, and you want every part of him to feel awesome. Licking, tickling, stroking, sucking, or scratching the balls can be very sexy and pleasurable.

As a man, it’s so important that a woman really gets off on giving head. How can a woman learn to love giving a blowjob more?

In three words: hands, time and spit.

Sucking and licking with my lips and tongue is functionally providing the lubrication I need to introduce

blow job

A woman giving a blow job © Wikipedia

friction with my fingers and palms.

Some men enjoy feeling the firm grip of your hand around their base or shaft when teasing and mouthing the head of their penis. This also leaves a hand free to explore their legs, thighs, stomach or testicles.

I might scratch his stomach and sides before letting my fingers drift lower and lower until I’m circling his pelvis and finally honing in on the jewels.

When you settle in to the idea that, “yes, I’m about to give an awesome blowjob,” you tend to get mentally psyched or excited about it.

This can translate physically into putting on a fresh coat of lipstick, or tying your hair back to frame and free my face.

Start slowly and build up momentum in a typical rhythm. You can also back off and start again, or fast/slow/heavy/rinse/repeat.

I think it’s fair to say that blowjobs are better served with more time and attention than a quickie.

When you have the luxury of time you can introduce new tricks, return to old favorites, and space out different moves to make the experience really memorable.

There’s a certain art that presents itself when a person can approach oral sex with confidence.

I derive pleasure from my partner’s pleasure (less so from a feeling of control) somewhat from just the sensation and taste of what’s happening during oral. Another thing to note here is that confident doesn’t necessarily mean perfect or clean.

Sometimes sloppy, drool-y, super-wet blowjobs are the best ever.

When I’m giving head, I try not to swallow my spit and instead let it drip naturally into my hands and onto his penis.

Sometimes I will literally spit on his head and rub it in with my fingers for a surprising twist.

After some practice, I found that deep throating was a quick way to introduce spit, and I intermittently do this to try something different, challenge myself, or simply make things wetter and better.

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Not many women know how to handle a guy’s balls – do you have advice?

Try cupping them gently while stroking the shaft with your other hand, or tracing them with a finger or two during oral. If using a lot of lube (or spit), try gently, GENTLY running your fingernails over them for a different sensation.

After you are comfortable with this and if you receive positive feedback from your partner, try taking them in your hand and lightly placing your thumb in between the testicles to separate them.

Do NOT ever forcefully separate or twist his balls.

Trace them with your tongue, or lick and VERY gently suck on one first, then the other.

Try taking the skin around them in between your thumb and index finger and tugging lightly.

Try cupping, rubbing or scratching them, again with lube, and basically manipulating them in your hands.

Continue focusing on the shaft the entire time you do this, and remember ball play is a supplemental action.

When you feel like you are something of a ball play enthusiast, you can press a thumb on the flesh “behind” them, underneath the testicles in the area behind the ball sack but in front of the anus (this is called the perineum).

You can also LICK THE PERINEUM – THIS FEELS GREAT!

Finally, when you are at expert level you can try gently, GENTLY, taking the skin of the ball sack in between your teeth. DO NOT BITE THE BALLS.

Above all, remember that this is a tease or an accelerator to the primary action that’s taking place with his shaft, base and head. It can set the mood or send him over the top!

Perfect! Thank you Ella! This is truly how to give a blowjob!

⚠️ Would you like video help with your oral sex? Click here to get a free video! (goes to a new site with video)

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Want to learn good sex skills with porn for women? Check out this article.

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