I recently was in Prague attending a kink workshop. The workshop was run by London Faerie and Ruby May, both experts in the field of kink and BDSM. I came into this not knowing a lot about kink. I thought it was this weird thing where people dressed up in leather pants or pvc and stuck apples in each other’s mouths. To me, it was an alien world and I couldn’t see it having any part in my life.
Although I had these preconceptions when I came in on the first day, I was open-minded to anything. I did not know what to expect, neither did I have any expectations.
The first evening consisted of many group exercises where we would play with eye contact, be connected to one another, greeting each other with our energy; human being to human being. There is something missing in society when it comes to eye contact. Very few people will hold eye contact for an extended amount of time. We were asked to do it for as long as 10 minutes, really breathing the other person in.
One exercise was to hold eye contact with someone and then vary the distance or the body position. For example, if you felt like being submissive you could kneel before your master. This intense eye contact and play made me feel like an animal. There was no more logical or analytical thought anymore. I was an animal in play. There was also a fun game where you could ask anything you wanted to your partner and they had to say ‘yes’ in reply to everything (they did not have to act on it, they just had to say yes). One playful and seemingly dominant woman was asking me such things as:
Her: Will you let me grab and twist your dick really hard?
Her: Will you be a dog, let me put a collar on you and lead you around the park?
Her: Will you bark like a dog?
Her: Will you piss on the tree like a dog?
I was a little alarmed by her but I also could not stop laughing at the fact that I had to say yes to all these questions.
Kink & Surrender
The first evening followed this path of playful games and readied us for more extensive work on the second day. Nakedness was expected (though not necessary if you did not want to be naked). The first exercise on the second day had us work in a group of three and we would all take turns being submissive. I was working with a guy and a girl. When I was told to submit, my absolute ‘noes’ were that I didn’t want to be a dog. At this point I also didn’t want to be fully naked, so I said it was a no to taking off my underwear.
When it was my time to submit to my two dominants, the woman from my group told me to be a cat. I liked being a cat, purring around people’s legs, rubbing my head on their legs and being a lovable ball of fur. It was fun. I enjoyed submitting as much as I did being dominant.
The next 30 minute adventure was with the dog-loving woman from the first evening. I was attracted to her and her nature and I knew she was not going to let me off lightly. Our roles to were simply to play dominant and submissive, after 30 minutes we would switch roles. We were all given collars and it was the submissives job to pass the collar to the dominant and say something along the lines of, “With this collar I give to you my service.” The only additional thing we were told was to ask ourselves the question, “What do I want in this moment?” Of course, we also had our boundaries. I said I was happy to get naked with her if she wanted that. She said the same. She said she did not want fingers inside her or my tongue or my dick. Fair enough, we’d only just met.
I was a very loving dominant. I followed my intuition of what I wanted. At first I got her to touch my back as I love my back being touched. Then I made her scratch my back and then to slowly kiss my back. Mmm. I then sat on the floor and put her over my legs with her face to the floor. I told her I was going to spank her ass. She agreed. I spanked more and more and then a few minutes later I said I was going to pull down her leggings to reveal her peachy ass. I did so. She complied. I spanked some more. I could feel she was getting wet. I then said I was going to take her cute underwear off. She said ok. I then slapped her bare ass. There was not much more I wanted to do in the moment. But then I wanted to touch her clit as lightly as possible. I said, “I want to touch between your legs, but not inside you. Is it okay?” She said, “yes”. There is something beautiful about the communication in dominance and submission. To know that a yes is a real yes, there lies the beauty. I slowly stroked her clit. I could feel the warmth and pressure on her stomach as she melted into my touch. Beautiful. We played a little more as I put her on her front and got close to her. She wanted her breasts played with, which was orgasmic for her and a pleasure to watch. We embraced at the end. It was gorgeous.
Now it was her turn to be dominant. I was a little apprehensive to say the least! After being a cat, I was now okay with being a dog. I told her that I didn’t want to bark or I didn’t want to be led around the main room being a dog. Those were my limits. She could have me naked if she wanted and she could touch me wherever she wanted.
Within the first minute I was on my knees and being asked to pant like a dog and have my tongue out like a dog. The next thing I am wiggling my ass pretending I have a tail like a dog. Then she stands up and asks me to fuck her leg (with both our clothes on). “Faster, faster like a good dog”. I oblige. The next thing I know she asks me to grab her breast and keep fucking her leg. The dog experience is then over. She then sits down on the floor and asks me to lick her left breast. I oblige. I then I have to suck her big toe. I oblige. She loves it. She then gets me to take my clothes off – something I have never done in a room with other people in it like this before. Surprisingly, it didn’t bother me. I then have to fuck her feet, then her tits. She asks me to cum on her chest, I say no as I want to keep my energy. I then have to dance for her completely naked to slow music. I shut my eyes whilst I do this to get in the flow. She asks me to show off my penis by putting my hands either side of it to focus her attention on it. She likes this immensely. After this she gives me her hand as she is kneeling before me and asks me to caress my body with her hand. I start at my cheek and slowly work towards my cock, slowly first with my balls and then placing her hand on me as she feels me get harder in her hand. She smiles looking up at me. How quickly you can create such special and intimate moments with someone.
Afterwards, she thanks me for my courage – especially in my freedom to dance naked. We embrace in a gorgeous hug that lasts maybe five minutes. I wanted to kneel there and hold her for two hours at least.
That dominance and submission experience is what I wanted to learn. To hold a space of love but also be dominant or submissive depending on what the role is. In this play, it was our jobs as a submissive to be ‘of service’. Sometimes the service is just to receive pleasure. Sometimes it’s to receive pain as she also smacked my ass pretty damn hard at times. We both talked about it and perhaps it was a soft form, and I didn’t push her boundaries, but it set a good ground level of where to start. We’ve only just met each other and I am sure if we do this again it will get deeper and more interesting.
The Final Day
I didn’t expect to end the final day as I did. Lying naked on the floor covered in ropes. We’ll get to the story of how that happened in a moment. We started off the day with a lot of sharing. I shared that I was feeling great, relaxed and was thankful that the guys running the workshop had created such a loving, playful space in which to play.
One woman shared that it was particularly hard for her to be submissive in her real life (as we play the dominant and submissive roles in our lives). She finds that men will not come towards her, so she has to be dominant (and she is a dominant in her career) to lure them in, and then, after establishing this role, she finds it incredibly hard to play submissive and melt into the woman she wants to be. I saw her plight and I was crying inside for her. I hope she finds her way.
After sharing, Faerie and Ruby said we were about to do role-play and we should all share what kind of role-play we wanted to do. This would enable us to find a partner or group to work with. Faerie asked for role-play suggestions for those people who didn’t know what a role-play was or were lacking ideas. Some gems offered were:
– (From a woman) I want to be in a role-play with a man. We are security guards at Tesco and some little girls come in and steal something from the shop. We take them to the back room and make them pay.
– (From a woman) I want an underage boy.
– (From a man) I want to be absolutely dominated by a powerful woman.
– (From me) A devil beast and a princess or angel.
I also added in, ‘anyone’ and a nun, the thought of this cracked people up. After all, who couldn’t dominate a nun?
I personally wanted to play the devil beast as I truly think there is a wolf hidden inside my body somewhere. It turned out that this wasn’t possible, as all the other suggestions didn’t really fit into mine.
I joined a group of four others; two guys and two women. The plan was that I would team up with one of the women as part of the Brutal Police and we would come into the scene where they would be in a jail cell, they had all been arrested for running a drugs and prostitution ring. We would beat them to get information from them. Then one of the three would turn out to be an undercover police officer and switch sides, then eventually the two police officers (one of which was me) would be overpowered towards the end of the scene.
The scene would also take place in a large room with all the other scenes going on, including that Tesco scene right next to us. My Brutal Police comrade started outside the room, we went out to get pumped up and really mad. We did some Tony Robbins exercises to get ourselves pumped up, some screaming too. Then we exploded through the room to find the three of them semi naked making out with each other. We ripped them apart and pinned them face down to the floor. This was far from easy with two strong guys and a feisty woman between the two of us, all the while screaming that I have a small dick. I went ape shit.
One of the guy’s back looked nasty from our beating and the other two felt my force. Things hadn’t got sexual at that point; we were just trying to keep them pinned to the floor. When we got the undercover cop on our side we had a bit more power and between us we pinned the remaining female criminal down and got her completely naked and dominated her. Soon after this the table was turned and she had a noose around my neck and was leading me like a dog. She led me over to my now naked police partner on the chair and made me smell her pussy. She asked me how it smelled. “Fresh”, I said. Soon after, I was lead away and the big undercover cop decided it was my turn to get my beating.
I immediately surrendered my power and just let him and the other guy take me. I was suddenly blindfolded and asked to take all my clothes off. I have never had two guys pull my jeans and underwear off before. I decided not to think about it and completely surrendered. I also decided not to think about other people seeing what was going on in the corner of their eye or the staff running the workshop watching. Surrender, nothingness; this is different from denial. I then had to put my hands high on my back whilst they bound my body with hemp rope. It felt like I was wearing a rope mankini (except my dick and balls were out for all to see) with one rope going tight down my ass crack and splitting into two up either side of my chest and over my shoulders. I hope nobody was taking pictures of this. It turned out after that Deepa (who was helping run the event) was extremely turned on by all of this. One of the guys was naked whilst he beat me with a whip and the other was half naked whilst he went over my body. Beautiful. You haven’t felt surrender like this. I wasn’t turned on by it but I had to surrender.
The final beating was in a fetus position on the floor. At the beginning of the workshop I’d said this would be one of my worst fears: Being naked in front of a room, tied up and being beaten by two guys. It wasn’t so bad after all. A few minutes after being on the floor the chime rang for the end of the scene (it was around 1.5 hours in total). Then came the most beautiful moment. The two women came over (they had been over in the corner doing their own thing) and they all kneeled down, covered my nudity with a sheet and put their arms on me and embraced me with warmth and love. I was in tears with my face buried in the floor. Tears not because of being humiliated, tears because I really felt their love. After a few minutes I stood up and wanted to hug them all individually, so I stood up to do it. This didn’t happen, instead I embraced two of them at the same time and they all made a circle around me and embraced me more. Ugh. We all were breathing at the same time and it was an epically beautiful moment.
I’m so thankful to London Faerie, Ruby May and the team for creating such a magical space where this could happen. Not an easy task and that is why I call it magic.
I learned that it’s empowering to submit to a man or a woman (and it doesn’t have to be sexual – i.e. I wasn’t turned on by the naked beating).
When kink is taught in this way there is far more to it than whips and chains. I learned that this type of loving and heart-connected kink is an adult playground to play and express and burn off some of the responsibility from the main thrust of life, where so often we all get frustrated with being either dominant or submissive. It’s in a kink playground like this where we can switch roles and really connect with another human being.
What do you think about kink? Leave your comments below!