Lauren Sheehan is the founder of and a master Art of Feminine Presence teacher.

The man who needs nothing from you… sounds like a mythical creature doesn’t it? Depending on who you are it can sound like a blessing or a curse.

I had a 4 month relationship with one such man and it created a foundation for one of the most profound transformations of my life. I know this because for the first time in my life, I am single and I feel full. I’m not searching for the next man. I’m not scrambling to manifest a great love so that I can stop feeling the empty nagging feeling that always had me pining for a man, the perfect relationship, and thinking my life would be complete when I found him.

For the first time in my life, I feel whole, complete in and of myself. I feel more free than I ever have, my life keeps feeling more and more amazing and a large part of how I got here is because I said yes to playing full out with this illustrious creature.

The man who needs nothing from you is a man that will rock your world regardless of your thoughts about it being good or bad. One thing is for sure, he will gift you with the greatest gift you’ve ever known; yourSELF. Because when a man truly doesn’t need anything from you, there is no where for you to hide and nothing for you to control. The only place to go is to step more fully into yourself and to own your own power.

Because he needs nothing from you, he can’t be manipulated or controlled. He won’t just do whatever you want to please you if it doesn’t feel true to him. He will tell you no. He will disagree with you. He will tell you the truth, even if it sucks to hear or hurts your feelings.

His lack of need for you will be replaced by a desire that is so pure it feels like drugs. He may not need your love, but he desires it and that’s liberating. When he tells you yes it will be so full of life you’ll feel waves around it. His lack of need for you will create a limitless container for you to play in as you expand into your full potential as a woman. It will support you in a way that you’ve never known before and rearrange your entire outlook on what love is and what man-woman relating looks like.

You’ll learn to let go in ways you’ve never let go before. You’ll remember that love cannot be lost, that you can’t give love if you aren’t experiencing love within yourself. You’ll meet yourself and show up for yourself in ways haven’t before.

His constant reflection of where you’re trying to grasp, cling, attach, control, and source power from outside of yourself will be your teacher and his gracious ability to not go into agreement with your disempowerment will be your support.

For any woman who is ready to step into her full power, a man who can show up in this way will catapult your growth and leave you with the sweetest thing you’ve ever known; yourSELF. Fully self sourced. Fully in your knowing. Connected and turned on.

What are the inner workings of the man who doesn’t need you?

I know that I’ve said this already, but I just want to make sure you really get it because it’s something that sounds simple on paper, but in experience is so much deeper. He will not need you, for anything. ANYTHING.

He doesn’t need you to love him, he doesn’t need you to show up in any specific or certain way, and he doesn’t need you to validate his passions or desires. He won’t place any limitations or parameters on your relationship and he won’t need you to be his everything. He won’t make you responsible for making him happy or joyful. He won’t make you responsible for filling his wants and desires. If he desires something (and he desires everything), he is pleased to receive it from you. But if not, he knows that he will get what he wants as it unfolds in his world.

At first glance, this can sound amazing. And yet what’s underneath this is a simple fact that many of us women place an immense amount of our own power in our man’s need for our validation, approval, and love. Given that, not feeling needed by your man can leave you feeling dry, less than, insecure and well, not needed. All of that can feel horrible for any woman who’s sense of self and security is wrapped up in all of that.

At first, you will feel stifled because in previous relationship lives, you used to fill yourself up in being needed by your man and the attention and appreciation that came with that. When that’s not available to you, you actually have to face the source of that emptiness within yourself. You have to face all your insecurities head on.

This is a similar feeling to a mother’s empty nest syndrome. When all the kiddies leave the house and a mother has spent her whole life sourcing her sense of self from being mom, and now her role in that way is shifting, she is forced to go within and find for herself what truly fills her.

Many times during my relationship with this man I would think, “If he doesn’t need me, then what’s the point?” Because when I could feel he didn’t need me, I felt useless and powerless. Somewhere I created some equation that said if he needs my love, then that means I’m lovable and if he doesn’t need my love, it means I’m not loveable.

The point is, that instead of operating in a zone where your sense of self worth as a women comes from your man’s need and desire for you, you can choose to operate from a full space where your self worth is fully sourced from the infinite well within you, where no amount of his loving you or not loving you has you feeling less than or unlovable. From this space, any desire that your man has for you feels so much more deep and juicy because it’s just extra.

You Can’t Hide Anymore

As I said before, when a man truly needs nothing from you, there is no where to hide. All of the places where you’re sourcing your power from outside of yourself will be shown to you swiftly (and not always gracefully). When a man has no attachment to your opinions or thoughts of him, no attachment to how you view him as a man, there is nothing for you to control, manage, or manipulate in the relationship.

When a man needs nothing from you, he doesn’t need to solve your emotional drama fest to feel like a superior man of integrity, he doesn’t need to come over to your house every night to feel like a good partner, he doesn’t need to own or possess you. He’s not sourcing his sense of manhood from you at all. Which means that you cannot source your sense of womanhood from him and you literally cannot manipulate the relationship to be what you think you want it to be.

When he needs nothing from you, the only thing there is for you to do is to let go, step up and be your own source of love and power and meet him in that place. When you do meet him there, you will find a whole new world opens up for you.

What is available on the other side?

What’s available to you on the other side of this is one of the most pure and freeing ways of relating to a man you will ever know.

Now, you both can come together as whole beings who are both fully creative, capable, aware, and responsible. Codependency with each other dissolves and what arises is pure play and true co-creation. Your relationship with each other starts to feel more electric, juicy, and connected.

You don’t feel responsible for his emotional state which means you feel fearless in your expression with him. You ask for what you desire with clarity and you’re not afraid to speak your truth. The idea that anything you say will hurt his feelings basically becomes obsolete because you know that he appreciates the truth and you know that his own power is unshakable. This makes him one of most trusting men you know.

Because you no longer make him responsible for making you happy or lovable, you are actually so much more happy and you experience love in a much deeper way. You do the things that you desire to do and create space for the activities and interactions that fill you up. You’re not using energy trying to manage or hold your relationship together, it just happens effortlessly.

You’re no longer trying to get his love to complete you or make you feel less empty, so in that freedom you can actually feel the true depth of his love and care for you. He will show up for you in new ways and be inspired to give to you and serve you. He will be delighted to please you and in fact, he won’t be able to resist it. You will become irresistible to him because you will be BEING yourself.

You feel more connected to your inner knowing and your intuition and you stay committed to your own desires and your own truth instead of molding to fit what you think he wants you to be. You’ll feel more calm, at ease, in pleasure, presence, and joy in your life.

What’s available to you through all of this is the only real thing you’ve ever wanted; the experience of yourSELF, freedom to be you without conditions, the innate joy that comes from unconditionally loving yourself, and the total allowing of all that YOU are.

So if you happen to come across ‘the man who needs nothing from you’ know that you have called in a great soul expansion for yourself. Know that what you are really wanting is to feel your own power and to really find out where you’re giving your power away and learn how to bring it back home to yourself. You are the creator of your world and this, to know and feel the magnitude of your true creative force, is your greatest work as a woman on this earth.

And when you meet him… tell him I said hello, thank you, and I love you.

Lauren Sheehan is the founder of and a master Art of Feminine Presence teacher.

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