A friend of mine said the other day, “If you don’t love sluts, then you don’t love women.” It got me thinking, why don’t all men accept empowered, sexually liberated women?

In a young man’s friendship group, there are often twisted and sadistic things that happen. On one hand, sluts are celebrated. Conquering female after female seems to be the name of the game, a competition for notches on that bed post so that you can claim some sort of victory over your so-called friends.

On the other hand of this misogynistic pendulum, many men have a great deal of trouble sleeping with women they are attracted to, and then they begin to resent this paradigm they have been cast into. This then causes men to grow into the adult and older years resenting men, because they hate the competition they created, they resent themselves because they didn’t sleep with enough women or they slept with women they didn’t even like, and they resent women they get into relationships with because they think these women probably slept with many guys like all his friends when she was younger.

This perpetual cycle of resentment eventually kills any intimacy, which is what we all wanted from the start – only, as young men, we didn’t know it.

When love and intimacy comes along, they come attached with this resentment of slutty female behavior. Jealousy becomes part of the relationship, he becomes jealous of the male attention she is getting or the men she had before he was with her. Why? Because sex has become a game, a competition to him. In his mind, he is still a 21 year old drinking beer with his friends listening to their latest conquests, and all the while he looks into his beer knowing that he is going to ejaculate into a tissue whilst watching his favorite porn when he gets home.

This is why (some) men hate sluts. He begins to see her complicit in this male competition for women. He struggles to see a woman who made the right decisions when it comes to her pleasure, he sees her as a toy that men have played with.

The new paradigm that a man must shift into is the one of forgiveness.

The first people to forgive are your friends and peer group when you were growing up. They did not know any better, they were not aware of the fact that they were hurting you and neither were they aware that all they wanted was intimacy too. It was not supposed to be a competition.

You must then forgive yourself. It was not your fault that you did not know how to attract a woman you liked, that you were always friends and never the boyfriend, and that you lived with your heart on your sleeve. You were unaware that the potent mix of your sexuality connected to your heart is what attracts women the most.

You must then forgive society in general for the education that you had around sexuality and forgive the porn websites that took away your connection to pure female sexuality.

You must then forgive every women in the world, for none of them want to harm you through their sexuality. They want to find pleasure and love with you.

Forgiveness and awareness are the keys in order to stop shaming women, calling them sluts and living in a competition-based world with other men.

We all have the right to pleasure, to a healthy and rich sex life in whatever form that takes.

This new paradigm must also be inclusive of feeling pleasure for other people’s pleasure. This is what people in polyamorous relationships do. Men have the potential to feel joy for women because they have felt pleasure in their lives. Is that not what we want women to feel?

Joy is one of the few reasons we are here on this planet, expansion and love are the others. If we are able to expand into joy, we have just grown exponentially. Feel the joy of every woman’s sexuality, there is great beauty and power in it. Forgive other men for the competition, let us all move forward into a more expanded world and let us ALL claim the word slut has a healthy one.

Why do you think men hate sluts? Leave your comment below!

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